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Portfolio No. 1441
Updated on: 5/14/08
Viewed: 117 times
Humorous Editorials
Christopher Ahart, Writer
E-mail: giggles

Richmond, VA 23221
United States
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Christopher Ahart has 5-7 years of experience.

Primary Specialty is Humor, with specialties in Fiction and Non-Fiction.

Christopher usually charges project rate.

Hourly rate is typically $ ( Not revealed ) per hour.
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A special message from Christopher ...

I think one of my greatest gifts is the ability to produce work rapidly and under time constraints.  I wrote my first good short story over the course of two days, but within only six hours out of those two days.  This story was rejected three times and accepted twice.  The editor with which I chose to publish made only five revisions.  Five.  These revisions needed a bare minimum of red ink.  Another writer friend of mine told me, and I quote, "The reason you suck is that you create work in one sitting that needs almost no revision.  Any other writer's work goes through a tedious process of proofreading and exhaustive revision, while you present a nearly perfectly polished product within that first great barrage of keystrokes."

This is the most notable skill I can bring to you, oh future temporary employer.

I have a decent balance of humility and confidence.  If you don't want what I offer, I will thank you and shuffle on.

Take care and good luck.

Sincerely,

Christopher Ahart


Experience
Clients None as of yet, but this will soon change.
Publications Humor Press, "America's Funniest Humor" Poictesme, A reputable literary magazine.
Special Skills I am a great cook and a great lover of music and art. My eyes are always open, never hazy with cataracts. I love to write about what I see and hear. I love to write about people, because I think they're fascinating in all of their inanities. My most special skill is a broadness of mind and an always sharpened pen.
Additional Services I would mow your lawn if you were close by. I used to love mowing the lawn at my parents' house. I have no lawn of my own, living in the city. I would cook your dinner too, if you'd let me.
Awards The ability is write is an award. The breath in my lungs. My boyfriend of three years. My closest friends. Chocolate-covered espresso beans. Hoppy beers.
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Samples

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A humorous editorial on homelessness and my crummy job.
http://www.humorpress.com/Results/Essays-200612-20 0701/c-HonMens/AhartChristopher-Essay-200612-20070 1-HomelessPleaseHelp.htm
An editorial defending the universally detested Brussels sprout.
http://www.helium.com/items/857607-defense-brussel s-sproutsoh-nasty
A godly anecdote.
http://www.helium.com/items/746899-craving-submari ne-sandwichhis-stomach
Thoughts on race.
http://www.helium.com/items/127040-brother-waxing- philosophical-about
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Contact Info.
Christopher Ahart, Writer
E-mail: giggles

Richmond, VA 23221
United States
MapQuest This Address
Phone:
Fax:
Visit my WEBSITE


View Christopher 's other portfolios
Rate this Freelancer
View comments/ratings
Every writer writes some junk. I don't submit junk. I will keep my junk hidden away in a locked folder. You will get sweet cream.

~ Christopher Ahart, Writer
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Portfolio No. 1441
Updated on: 5/14/08
Viewed: 117 times

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